Kitty DrunkDrunk is unsurprisingly unapologetic regarding her prolonged absence.

Published November 18, 2012 by Kitty DrunkDrunk


Can you hear it? Wafting gently like a syphilitic nightingale’s gin-perfumed song adrift on the breeze of sour disapproval? It’s the tinkling melody of exactly ZERO jaws dropping at the news that K DD has returned unaffected from her stretch at the “deprogramming center”. Wherein burly felons were reduced to weepy, girlish hysterics as a result of their failed attempts to inflict “tough love” on our girl K DD, vis-a-vis her brobdignagian alcoholism. Or as she refers to it, her “nicey nicey”. Thrusting helpful pamphlets under her liquor-drenched moosh only served to whip her up into an unfocused rage. Has anyone seen “Mad Dog” Jenkins (aka Prisoner # 112542) from cellblock C recently? No? Really? Well don’t go digging around in K DD’s litter box any time soon. You may just find a scrap of convict-scented buttock skin with a prison tattoo of K DD’s paw print a-mouldering under the Fresh Step. Don’t be squealing, ya stool pigeon. Or you may be next. She will stone cold SHANK you.


10 comments on “Kitty DrunkDrunk is unsurprisingly unapologetic regarding her prolonged absence.

  • Here’s a fact about prison; it’s where naughty people go. Even Clint Eastwood has been to prison, although he did escape from Alcatraz. I saw it in a film. If I was going to escape I would flutter my eyelids, comb my eyebrows, and waltz on out. Simples.

  • you see a wasted “de-programming” session, whereas the rest of the free world is thanking KDD for her efforts to help Burly Bad Mans get in touch wif their inner Cry Baby. cleaning up a stoolies is the LEAST you can do to thank her for her efforts to reform society, but no. complain, complain, complain.

    • Oh my dearest Sparky S! How I pine for you! So sorry for the prolonged absence. Tragic life events have conspired to keep you and KDD apart…no mas, I say! NO MAS! I will stagger to your side as soon as fate allows! Big love and bigger whiskey jiggers to you my darling one! xoxo Kitty DrunkDrunk

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