Kitty DrunkDrunk’s potty mouth is more like a public urinal

Published August 22, 2012 by Kitty DrunkDrunk

Image

Now whose brilliant idea was it to invite K DD to Karaoke? All she did was pound Kamikazes and fling litter-encrusted poo wads at the other singers. Then she commandeered the microphone and insisted on making up filthy lyrics to that Chuck Mangione song. Guess how many times can you cram the word “twat” into a 3 minute song? I’ll give you a hint: A LOT. Guess who now thinks every flat surface is her personal stage and forces you to watch impromptu “numbers” consisting of her slurring along to EVERY SONG on the soft rock station? I’ll give you a hint: It rhymes with Shitty FunkFunk. The love songs are the worst–she puts on her “tender” face and tries to gently stroke your cheek but she’s so wasted she keeps toppling over, shredding your face to ribbons.

Advertisements

48 comments on “Kitty DrunkDrunk’s potty mouth is more like a public urinal

  • That irascible KDD! Her heart is filled with love (or vodka same dif) almost to bursting and needs to vent through song!

  • yeah, well you’ll all be crying her a river when she’s a big hit on American Idol or Yeowling with The Stars or America’s Most Wanted or one of those shows. The girl has got IT (gonorrhea, probably), I tell you! She’s going be a STAR. Shred on, you Crazy Diamond. xoxo KDD’s Biggest Fan and Stalker, SSF.

    • How we wish you were here, S SF! You will of course have an all access VIP backstage pass to K DD’s triumphant premier performance. You don’t want to risk sitting in the front row due to the strong possibility of her gonorrhea leaping off in search of safer terrain.

    • So would I! If only because it would force her to actually put ON clothes so that they could fall off again. You have no idea how embarrassing it is to have to keep chasing a nude and belligerent K DD down the street, especially past that day care center.

  • Due to the fact you liked one of my posts, I thought I’d pop along here – and bally heck, I’m glad I did. This is genius. Not only do I adore your superfluous repetition of ‘drunk’ – I’m all for that, I call one of my friends Carol Bonkbonk for no reason at all – but your writing is hilarious. The only negative thing is that you have a heinous drunk for a pet. Have you ever thought about hamsters? Their disinclination for booze is a plus point, but I must admit their penchant for crack cocaine gets a bit wearing.

    • Hey hey BST! Right back atcha, you funny thingthing! And you know what? I actually DO think of hamsters, a little more frequently than I’d like to admit, and sometimes inappropriately. K DD would be SO PISSED if she knew. Can you blame me? She’s not exactly wife material.

    • Thank you for your support, citizen. We here at K DD enterprises try to present an objective, balanced evaluation of others’ talents such as “YOU SUCK! YOU GO DIE NOW! STUPID SUCKY! GET OFF THE STAGE DUMMY ASS WIPE!!” and other such helpful advice.

    • WOOOOW! K DD immortalized in one of AEC’s legendary epics! Well she is absolutely beside herself and is celebrating with a white russian so big she has to drink it out of the recycling bin. K DD is so flattered, thank you!

  • Thank you. I appreciate your comments on my post about Amanda. I see K DD is drinking Kamikazes now. Does she still drink Zima? I had a cat named Zeke that started drinking Caucasians after him and I watched The Big Llbowski on a late night movie in 1990. It worked out pretty good because he stopped drinking my beer. After a few of those he would get on top of the fridge and sit and stare at everything and everyone. For hours. He passed away in 2001 at 14. His pic is the one that pops up on my profile. He was also one of two cats (out of many over the years) that we had that played fetch all his life. Most stop after a few times. Well, getting maudlin. But I love the adventures of K DD. Thanks for sharing!

    • Hiya RH63! Zeke sounds AWESOME! K DD labels white russians a “dessert” so that she can blame passing out in the foyer on “too much cake”. She no longer drinks Zima because I refuse to endure the humiliation of going to pick it up for her.

  • Leave a Reply

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

    WordPress.com Logo

    You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

    Google+ photo

    You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

    Connecting to %s

    %d bloggers like this: